Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
