it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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