gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
