Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
