i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
