it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
