Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jไger and an empty bed here Friday.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. ITโS SAFE AND WORKS.
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