I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
