jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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