Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
