They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize