Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
