why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
