she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
