Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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