You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
