we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
