doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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