Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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