I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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