Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
