marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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