I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
