what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
