so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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