this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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