fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
