i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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