the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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