dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize