What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
