so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
