new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
