I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize