He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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