I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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