What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
