I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize