It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize