I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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