everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
