Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
