how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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