I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
