you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
