yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
