D3 body, D1 cock
We won't sleep together?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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