I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
