Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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