No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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