so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
and you fell through a lawn chair
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
