Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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