is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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