I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
