I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We are two peas in an std pod
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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