do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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