you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
