Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
