i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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