I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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