New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i think i just lost a toe
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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