I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Randomize
