he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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