would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
