You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize