Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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