bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The air taste purple.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
