Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
