i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Bring me that man meat
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
