I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize