Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
