My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
