i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
