So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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